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“And you told me I wouldn’t enjoy a cricket match!”The bill arrived after our third round of cocktails had been consumed and I paid with plastic. It was almost 5 o’clock and I sensed that for Carlotta it would soon be bedtime.I was wrong. We returned to the Spyder (it now had two parking tickets stuck to its windscreen) and she drove us around the block to park behind the Ritz, beside an ugly angular apartment block fashioned in the 1960s Brutalist style. “I live at the top,” she announced. The talon clasped my right hand tightly and she led me we towards an iron gate leading directly into Green Park. “Let’s go down to the lake.”Dusk. There were few people around. The tourists had returned to their hotels for supper and the office workers only wanted to catch the underground back to the suburbs.We had arrived at the edge of a small tree-shaded ornamental lake at the bottom of the park. Geese and ducks were the only other visitors. “If I strip off, will you come and watch me do my. Second, if the attendees didn't have a vagina, they were usually toddlers who didn't know any better to not come. Third, boys like me, eighteen and shit, don't come to such parties, like ever. Which only highlight the awkwardness I had to endure every single time since the whole fucking room was filled to the brink with middle age women and screaming sniffling baboons the women brought with them.Some of the women were bitter like mom and would come by and remind me not to cheat on my future wife like their husbands did to them. Some of the women were just a big pile of sobbing mess hoping to find some semblance of salvation in the party. Then there were the sex-famished cougars who would pounce on you if you so much as forgetting to unzip your pants. Needless to say, I had been 'approached' by said cougars one too many time for my own comfort. Don't get me wrong. They were hot. But they were also around my mom's age and there's that too.Today, as my never ending misfortune dictated,.
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